2. Make time to switch off notifications and alerts.
Frequent phone calls, texts and push notifications can make it seem like our devices always require our attention, says Julianna Miner, author of “Raising a Screen Smart Kid.” “Tech use is like any other learned behavior, and parents play an enormous role in establishing what kids will consider normal,” she says. Our kids notice how quickly we jump to respond to an alert, Miner says, but with a bit of time and attention, those alerts can be pared down to only the necessary ones—leaving more time to be present with our kids. Here are some strategies:
Designate blocks of time with no alerts. Whether it’s during the after-dinner hours or during your own workday, toggle your notification settings off to give yourself—and your family—uninterrupted chunks of time.
Show kids it’s okay to ignore devices sometimes. When kids get their first phone they don’t innately understand how to set boundaries around their time. When a friend calls, they answer. When they get a text, they feel the need to immediately respond. Oftentimes they think this kind of screen time is necessary because it’s how the adults in their life use their phones. So when your kid is telling you about their day, hit “ignore” on that incoming call. This lets your child know that what they are saying is more important than whatever is on the other end of that line.
Rethink your smartwatch use. Smartwatches can be great tools, but they can also be invasive. Placing your phone in another room doesn’t matter if push notifications are still coming to your watch. Toggle those settings to allow only the most necessary alerts as well.
3. Talk about your tech health as much as you talk about theirs.
We can tell our kids to be mindful of their screen time, but talking about how we evaluate our own screen time has a bigger impact, says Miner. “As a parent, you could be doing a great job managing your tech use, but if you’re not discussing it with your children, how would they know?” Try these as a starting point:
Talk about how tech makes you feel. We can connect with our kids by sharing both positive and negative experiences with tech. “This week I shared that every time I open Instagram, almost immediately I feel annoyed and bombarded with content I don’t want to see and don’t care about,” says Miner. Some of her other family members felt the same way, and they were able to talk about why—and reevaluate their habits.
Tell your kids what you’re doing on your phone. Are you sending your partner online videos or registering your child for soccer? Most of the time, kids can’t tell—but it can be helpful for them to know why what you’re doing on your phone is a priority. Say it out loud, advises Heitner. “You can explain that you are doing some work right now. Give them a time you will be done,” she says. She adds that it’s best to give them an actual clock time, as phrases like “in a few minutes” feel vague and nebulous.
Miner says this final step is the most crucial. “Part of modeling good tech behavior and mentoring digital citizenship is sharing what you’re doing online,” she says, “including problems you may encounter and solutions you’ve tried.”
Reflect on your screen time, and then help manage theirs with Verizon Family.
